


Monster Neighbors

by Elletz



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Slow Build, ambiguous reader, don't rush it, guys look I fell into the undertale fandom again, idk you work for a spider at some point???, its a lovely story you should read it, platonic date with papyrus, the author is /trying/, you and snas but alphyne takes #1 cutest couple, you probably all want to bone the skele but like give it a sec
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-08 17:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13462725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elletz/pseuds/Elletz
Summary: So.A fish and dinosaur moved in next door to you.





	1. Moving Day! But Not for You

There was a dinosaur and a fish moving in across the hall.

 _What._  

You peered even further out from the crack of your door. Apparently, your apartment complex was accepting monsters now.

You weren’t complaining, but the two creatures were quite intimidating. Well, maybe not the short yellow dinosaur who wore glasses and a nervous posture, but most certainly the tall fish lady wielding the determined expression and hefting an entire couch into the hallway. Suddenly, you felt small in comparison.

The Mount Ebott barrier had fallen not a long while ago. Everyone had known something was up when you all felt it; there was a mini earthquake-like happening. It even shook a few people off their feet! With the barrier opening came a few bigots, of course, but for the most part, cities welcomed monsters to integrate in with open arms. Perhaps we all just felt guilty for trapping them for so long, but at least most people were accepting of them.

“Hey! Punk! Whatcha starin’ at?!”

You blinked. _Shoot._ They must have noticed you while you were lost in thought.

“Uh, hi!” You started, anxiously, walking out from your door and closing it behind you. “I suppose you two are my new neighbors? I’m _ _ _ .”

The smaller dinosaur approached you, taking a few timid steps forward. She shyly waved, prompting her friend? girlfriend? to shove the couch inside their room to rise to her side and wave as well. “Y-Yeah, we’re just moving in…” she trailed off.

The fish continued. “I’m Undyne! And this is my cute girlfriend, Alphys!” So you were right in assuming. Alphys was blushing.

“It’s nice to meet you! Uh, hopefully we can be friends? The only other two people in this hallway are either a 70 years grandma or never here.” It’s not like you didn’t enjoy Ms. Simmons company (or her cookies), but you needed actual friends your age. That college-aged kid nearby was too piled-up on schoolwork and classes.

“Hey, by the way, do you need any help getting stuff up?”

“Fuhuhu,”  _that's a strange laugh,_ “If you can handle it!” With that, she leapt into a frenzy of grabbing her girlfriend and plowing down the flight of stairs like the maniac she was proving herself to be.

Alphys seemed to be amazed by this. Well, you guessed they _were_ dating, after all.

Even while running to your full potential, you couldn’t catch up with them. But you kept going. 

Thankfully, the moving van was just outside the lobby and you spied Alphys through a window. She was carrying what looked like to be two small table stools, stacked one on top of the other. It looked like she was struggling with them. And was she trying to grab onto _another thing too?_

You hefted up the last of your strength and ran over to her, breathing a bit roughly. Man, you really needed to start exercising regularly again, from back when you tried to “better yourself” once during a summer break between college semesters. But surely you weren’t _this_ out of shape?!

“Need any help with those? Let me take some,” you suggested.

Alphys shot you a tired grin and handed over the top stool and the box of utensils, looking relieved. It was a bit heavier than you anticipated, and you stumbled back slightly with the weight.

Undyne slapped you on the back, almost causing you to drop the box, the metal clanging together. “Thanks for the help, punk!”

Thoroughly shocked, Alphys and you watched her run back into the building with an entire fridge under her arm like it was nothing.

“U-Um, sorry about that. She means well.” You turned towards Alphys with what you thought was a deadpan expression. “Really.”

Well, she was a bit too eccentric for you, but you were glad Undyne was here. _You_ most certainly wouldn’t be hauling _a whole fridge_ up a flight of stairs to the fourth floor. The strength required for such a task was daunting.

Avoiding the million different potted plants jumbled throughout the lobby, you both started trekking up the stairs.

“So...” you started after a moment, thinking up something to start a conversation. “What made you two move here?” The town wasn’t too far away from Mount Ebott, but it was enough to be a decent distance from the base of the mountain.

“W-Well!” she seemed surprised; obviously, she was not expecting your question. “We were searching for a small flat together, but houses are so expensive that I felt we should get an apartment together instead.” Makes sense. You adjusted your arm’s grip on the utensil tupperware. 

How, um, is the building?”

“The people here are pretty nice,” you chuckled, brushing your hand against one of the longer leaves dangling from the stairwell railing. “And the actual conditions are running great. I don’t doubt that you two will like it here… Well, other than the elevator. They really need to get that fixed.” you added as a side note. Better to be honest.

“I don’t think this is a bad place at all, ehehe… The doorman was nice when we first arrived, and so was the receptionist.”

You chuckled, thinking of your friend Joel.

“Joel is who you’re thinking of. He’s one the better doormen I’ve come across. Even when he _does_ accidently spill the water for the plants onto my head.” you cheekily grinned.

“I guess you guys must be pretty close, then.”

You eagerly nodded. “Yep, we’re friends-” Something whirled past, cutting you off.

“Keep up punks!”

Alphys smiled apologetically. “Don’t mind Undyne, she’s a bit…”

“Enthusiastic?” you guessed. She sported a weak but forgiving smile. “It’s not exhausting, though. And besides, she’s the best girlfriend.”

You all finally reached the fourth floor and dropped off your stools plus utensils and hesitantly headed downstairs again. You did not miss your jealousy when Undyne ran past you once more. Well, at least she wasn’t being a prick about it.

The three of you brought up quite a few more necessities before it started getting dark. You supposed that it didn’t matter all too much; you were between jobs right now. (You had been starting to fund some money online from odd commissions, but you still needed another job soon.) Alphys, though, voiced her fatigue when her feet started wobbling.

“S-Sorry, there’s not really much places to sit in the lab. A-and I was there all m-morning, so…” You noticed her stuttering had gotten worse with her tiredness.

Undyne knelt down to the height of her girlfriend, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. “That’s okay sweetie; the lab’s hard work. I can’t understand a single thing that goes on there.” She nodded back at you, smiling wide. “Thanks for the help. Ya know, you’re not so bad.” Gee, _thanks._

“Hey- want to go jogging with me and a friend tomorrow?”

“Sure,” you replied, not knowing what you were getting yourself into, and started walking towards your room. “Sounds like fun.” Your brain was tired and clearly wasn’t thinking straight.

Alphys smiled sweetly at you, letting her girlfriend guide her into their new home. Undyne winked at you, then proceeded to follow inside after her. You laughed, and closed the door behind yourself, turning in for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the summary of this story and the first sentence of this chapter conflict with one another, btw


	2. Running a Marathon

_Ugh…_

What time was it?

You flipped up your covers and reached over for your phone, bleary-eyed.

"Why?" you painfully asked yourself aloud, your voice scratchy. "Why am I awake?"

It was five in the morning. You snuggled back into your bed, pulling the covers back over your head when you heard a pounding at your door. Like, an actual fist-to-wood-and-back-again pounding. _That better not be Joel._

You groaned, rolling out of bed so slowly that you didn’t notice how much you were falling off the edge of the mattress until it was too late.

What a wonderful start to the day.

“Hey! What’s going on in there?! We’re gonna be late!” There was a pause. _“NGAHHH!”_ A door slammed open, jolting you upright and running down the hall from your bedroom floor. You stood corrected.

“HUMAN! I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO MEET YOU AND JOG TOGETHER! COME OUT FROM HIDING!”

You raced barefoot into your living room, your pajamas wrinkled and your hair matted. And that’s when you came face-to-chest with a seven foot tall skeleton. Undyne was laughing unabashedly behind them. 

“What?” You had to take a few steps back to actually see his face. “... Who are you?”

The skeleton looked as if he had just won the Nobel prize or something. “HELLO HUMAN! IT IS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AND I AM HERE TO JOG WITH YOU!” It was astonishing how enthusiastic he was.

“Uh… Hi… Papyrus.” You glanced at Undyne, who was wearing toothy grin and bright yellow exercise shorts. You didn’t know what exactly was going on.

“This is my friend Papyrus. You, me, and him are all going jogging.”

And that’s when you remembered.

You stared back at her. “At five in the morning?!”

Her teeth glistened in a menacing, feral smile. “Yep.” She pursed her lips, enunciating the “p.”

_What._

“What.”

“That’s right, punk! We’re gonna go for a morning jog!” She stomped forward, leaning in to face me head on. _“You didn’t forget, did you?”_

“No, I just-” You cut yourself off. “Why at five in the morning? Doesn’t that seem a bit rash?!”

“HURRY, HUMAN! I ALARM YOU, THE SUNRISE MUST NOT BE OVER BEFORE WE EVEN START!” He sounded exasperated. Well, same. Undyne started laughing again and lifting your couch. You were officially alarmed.

“I’ll hurry up! But _stop_ suplexing my couch, for goodness sakes!” Frustrated, she exhaled, not even attempting to set it down gently. It landed with a thud and probably woke up half of the building. You raced into your bedroom to find some old, battered clothing that was okay to sweat in. _Profusely,_ knowing Undyne. Oh, and a water bottle.

When you came back into the living room, clipping a filled water bottle holder onto your back (innovation), you found Papyrus clapping animatedly to a cooking show. Why he was clapping to MasterChef, you didn’t know. Not that you weren’t curious. Undyne was immersed as well, but shouting at one of the younger chefs that they weren’t pounding the vegetables hard enough. You had to mute the show, in fact, to even get their attention at all.

“SOMEDAY, I TOO WANT GORDON RAMSAY TO JUDGE MY EXCELLENT COOKING!” Again, you were reminded of how loud he was. “SPAGHETTI, PREPARED BY MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS! NYEH HEH!” In this moment Papyrus resembled a fantasy hero more than anything. He triumphantly threw his cape behind him as if the wind had blown it.

Undyne bounced up from the couch, grabbing Papyrus by the arm and dragging him to the door. “Hey human, you ready to go?”

“Uh…” you double checked that you had everything. Nervously, you walked beside them. “Sure!”

“Well then let’s go!”

Soon you were sweating. Nothing could have prepared you for this.

“What’s wrong, punk? Can’t keep up the pace?”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Her devious eye followed you from up ahead, where she was running backwards to challenge you. Yet any attempt to catch up with her and Papyrus was feeble. It hadn’t even been five minutes.

“HUMAN, ARE YOU FEELING WELL?” He slowed down to run alongside you. Undyne chuckled at this, slowing down with him.

“Actually, uh, I’m-” Inhale. “a little tired?” Inhale. “But don’t worry, I’m fine-” Suddenly, you were being lifted up onto his shoulders. Undyne was straight out laughing now.

You made a breathy noise from the back of your throat involuntarily. “Papyrus, what-” The view was actually pretty amazing.

“NYEH, HEH! NOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO EXERT YOURSELF BEYOND YOUR CAPABILITIES!”

“Th-” You hoisted yourself into a more comfortable position on his shoulders. “Thanks Papyrus.”

“YOU ARE VERY WELCOME, HUMAN!” There was a slight orange tinge to his cheekbones. You thought that was interesting.

“Hey! You better catch up nerds!” Undyne suddenly sprinted away, her strides lengthy and unrelenting.

You pointed to her figure racing paces ahead of you, arm extending past Papyrus’s head. “We need to catch up with her! Hurry; we can’t let her win!”

However.

Despite your best combined efforts (well, you didn’t do much), you still weren’t able to catch up with Undyne. You already knew she was crazy strong, but it was as if she was some fitness overlord by the way she dodged you every time Papyrus managed to jog closer to her. Again, how was he jogging without any muscles?

Sighing, you whispered your last hope to Papyrus. “There’s a roundabout coming up surrounding the edge of this park. Maybe, she won’t notice if we go through the park and meet her at the sidewalk on the other side of it.”

“Human!”

Wow, he could actually lower his voice.

“That Is An Excellent Strategy!” He sharply turned into the grass, sprinting to the other side of the park. The faster pace was making you a bit sick, much to your dismay. That, and he was literally leaping over other park goers. Including a five foot tall monster.

“Papyrus,” you asked, shaking, “can’t we slow down at least a little?” You probably would have thrown up already, if not for the fact that you hadn't eaten any breakfast.

“I’M AFRAID WE MUST BEAT UNDYNE TO THE SIDEWALK FIRST, HUMAN. IT WAS YOUR GREAT PLAN, AFTER ALL.”

“That it was.” You felt queasy to your stomach. He bounded over a rusted park bench.

You were gently lifted down when you both finally met the sidewalk again. The sun rise blinded you when you attempted to look up at him, so you threw your elbow over your eyes.

“Do you see Undyne anywhere-”

“Papyrus?! _ _ _ ?!” She was charging towards you.  _Had you won?_

_WHAM!_

...

The next thing you knew, it was one in the afternoon. Was your clock’s time wrong? And since when were you lying on your couch?

“Oh, hey, you’re up.”

You looked up at Undyne, who was wearing a guilty expression.

“Good Afternoon, Human!” Thank the stars for Papyrus’s “quieter” tone.

“What happened?”

Undyne spoke up. “I, uh… crashed into you? You’ve been out cold for the past seven hours.”

Oh geez.

“Me and Papyrus have been here waiting for you to wake up. Ya know, make sure you didn’t die or anything.” She looked a tad bit concerned, and you felt scolded yourself for taking up most of their day. Not that you weren’t thankful.

“Oh, thank you then. Have you guys eaten?”

Papyrus sprang up from the loveseat and dashed into the kitchen. “HUMAN! WE MADE PASTA WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING!”

“And saved some for you when you woke up!” Undyne was faring better, and pushed a tray into your lap. Where she got that you had no clue. Papyrus came out with a plate of spaghetti drenched with tomato sauce.

“Try it, punk!”

You twirled a bit of the noodles onto your fork before plopping it into your mouth. The taste was indescribable. You reflexively bunched up your face.

“WELL? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR CULINARY MASTERPIECE?”

“It’s…” You regretfully swallowed. _“Good?”_

“Hell yeah it is!”

“OF COURSE, HUMAN. THE GREAT PAPYRUS ONLY USES THE FINEST OF INGREDIENTS.”

“... You two would make Gordon Ramsay proud.” It was such a barefaced lie, but you weren’t going to insult their work.

“REALLY?” Oh no. Papyrus was tearing up. “NYOO HOO HOO.” Undyne laughed and noogied his skull.

“PLEASE DON’T NOOGIE THE SKELETON.”

They didn’t leave until eight that night. For the new few hours they hung out with you, doing such things as watching more cooking shows, creating maze puzzles (which Papyrus got _seriously_ into), and making more food. (You suggested they try making lasagna instead of spaghetti, hoping that it would somehow taste better. It didn’t.) But eventually they had to leave. Alphys was probably worried.

“GOODNIGHT, HUMAN! WE SHOULD CONTINUE TO CREATE NEW CULINARY DISHES IN THE NEAR FUTURE!”

“Yeah, see ya! Punk!”

“Goodnight, Papyrus,” you nodded, smiling, “Undyne.” You waved to them as they walked away. 

What a day. You were going to enjoy having these monsters around. 


	3. Some Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not saying these days are right after the other, but...

_Splat._

Well, there it goes.

_Splat._

Another failure.

“ _ _ _ ?”

It went flying up to the ceiling. A third try and you still couldn't get it right.

“Oh, _ _ _ !” You heard an enthusiastic voice. “Do you want to…” Alphys stood in the doorway, transfixed by the sight of gooey batter running down your forehead. “U-Um, do you need any help?”

You half-heartedly waved at her. “Hey, Alphys! I was just, uh, making pancakes.” You coughed.

“Unsuccessfully.”

“Ehehe. Um…” She sounded nervous, smiling apologetically. “Is this a bad time?”

“Nah, you’re cool. I’m just trying to start off my Saturday with some breakfast. Want any?”

She raised an eyebrow, looking up at the pancake batter dripping from the ceiling. You added as a side note, “If I ever make any good ones?” smiling sheepishly.

“Sure! Undyne and I haven’t actually eaten yet, and um… do you like a-anime?”

Where did that come from? You decided to give her your honest answer. You’ve only seen the more popular anime series. Admittedly, you didn’t actively follow anything other than ____. You simply didn’t have much time for it. (Until recently, you had been working many hours as a barista. But you _did_ have a list of animes you wanted to watch eventually.)

“Oh!” she gasped, “That’s great news!”

Because…?

“Do you want to watch some with us? It’s c-called, u-um, Mew Mew Kissy Cutie.” She got quiet at the end, like she was nervous you would decline. But her tone of voice was otherwise very enthusiastic. It was cute.

You smiled down at her. “Sound fun, Alphys. I’m in.”

“Hey nerds!”

Undyne bounded into your kitchen, kicking the door open with so much force that you were genuinely surprised when it didn’t come clean off its hinges. And was she wielding a _spear?!_ She threw it into your kitchen table, breaking it immediately in half. She had made her entrance loud and clear. 

“Oh. Sorry.” She halted in front of the broken halves. “That’s magic for ya.”

You sighed, making a pained expression.

“It’s fine.”

It was not fine.

“I can just replace it?”

You definitely could not replace it. You literally only had money for food and rent.

Alphys spoke up, “Pancakes are a no-go, then? We can j-just leave…”

“No, I’ll make you guys breakfast. We’ll just have to eat it at yours, I guess.” You emphasized, not missing a beat. The table matter was something to get angry about later, when you were by yourself and able to scream loudly into a pillow.

You shrugged, as if none of this was a big deal. Picking up some of your kitchen items, you followed them across the hall to their apartment.

“Wow, you guys really got creative with all of this stuff.”

Their living room was certainly something. It was as if they had spent a decade putting this home together - not just a day.

There was a center table with four chairs seated tightly around it, covered with a dainty tablecloth (a cute pink and blue fish pattern), and even a small candle seated within a small yellow pot. Photographs of different monsters and a human child were littered everywhere you looked; frames on the walls, side tables, and one even glued on the ceiling. A digital fireplace which definitely wasn’t there before they moved in was located in the far right corner, along with a blue glowing cube that was shoved to the wall ninety degrees from it. There was a small dog figurine in the center of the mantle, and a child’s crayon drawing of the couple kissing on the corner.

“This cutie did most of the work! I just lifted stuff.” Undyne lifted a blushing pink Alphys into her arms.

“Sans and Papyrus helped too, by the way.”

Undyne looked irritated. “Sans didn’t help at all. The whole time he sat on the couch making puns.”

Who was Sans? One of their other friends, you supposed.

You entered their kitchen balancing the pancake batter and a frying pan in your arms, Undyne following you. Unlike the living room, this room was quite normal.

Quality cabinets lined the walls, and a strange looking oven and two fridges sat underneath them. On the floor was a polished sword that was probably taller than even Papyrus. It sat next to a purple table in the corner of the room. On top of the table was an empty candle holder. Three different calendars hung on the wall opposite to the sword. There was some counter space around the oven.

On the counter you poured some pancake batter into your frying pan. You were glad you had brought your pan, since it didn’t seem like the couple had one. Heading over to the oven, you turned up the heat.

You crossed your arms. “So, how’s the building? Liking it so far?”

Undyne blew a strand of hair away from her face. “It’s a nice change of pace from Underground, if that’s what you mean.”

“What was it like?” you inquired. Monsters emerged from underneath the mountain after hundreds of years, but no one knew of their existence. How could an entire war against monsters be lost to history? It was interesting to you.

“Underground?” She made a noise from the back of her throat. “You want to know what that was like?”

You fidgeted under her gaze, and went back to flipping more pancakes. Alphys cleared her throat from the doorway.

“I-I can feel the tension from the couch. What’s going on?”

Undyne turned towards her girlfriend, pointing her thumb back at you. “ _ _ _ wants to know about Underground.”

“Did I say something wrong?” You were a somewhat terrified that you had. This woman could slice you the same fate as she did to your table.

Alphys relieved you. “N-No, it’s just that, well, monsters aren’t supposed to tell humans what it was like.”

You added another pancake to your growing pile. You could be decent at cooking under pressure.

“Why not?”

Undyne turned around, looping an arm around Alphys. “The king insists on it. No one knows why. It’s probably the Queen’s doing, fuhu.”

That didn’t make any sense. But you didn't want to push it.

“There are enough pancakes here for each of us to have two. Is that okay with you guys?”

“Oh, um, yeah!”

Alphys hurried over to the cabinets for some plates. Undyne raced over to the more technological fridge and took out… hot and ready sausages? How did that work? When you looked over at Alphys, you saw her gently taking out some tiny nunchucks from a drawer, searching for silverware. You guessed monsters had vastly different customs than humans did. You placed the stack of pancakes into the center of the table.

“It’s certainly been a while since I’ve had p-pancakes. I might not even remember what they taste like!” Alphys sat down at the square table next to you, and Undyne joined you on the other side of her.

“Yeah, thanks for breakfast punk!” Undyne dug into her pancakes, ripping them apart like they were an enemy.

You took a bite. Better than what you usually make. “It’s no problem!” You swallowed.

“Now, did I hear something about watching anime earlier?”

Alphys immediately went on a tangent about how amazing an anime called Mew Mew Kissy Cutie was. You were quite glad you mentioned it. Undyne, as it turned out, also enjoyed the show immensely.

“You humans with your fanciful history of giants swords.”

You weren’t exactly sure that statement was correct. Alphys looked moderately guilty.

“And Mew Mew’s whole character arc was _ruined_ in the second one! Don't worry - we won’t be watching that one. It's trash; neither kissy nor cutie. Zero stars.” It sounded like she was writing a product review. But you were excited to watch it with them nonetheless.

Breakfast was pretty eventful.

“All done?” you asked, satisfied. And ready to volunteer. “I’ll clean up.”

“What? No! You’re the guest!” Undyne had beat you to it, already at the sink with soap in her hands. You and Alphys headed into the living room, and sat down at the table. She informed you more on the show.

Undyne finished up with the dishes. Instead of joining you at the table, she opened up a closet. All the shelves inside were occupied by fuzzy blankets.

“Alphys, get the CD! This is gonna be good!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooo whats up with tori


	4. Hang Out

In another room of the apartment, everyone had pitched in to create the blanket fort. Multiple sheets were spread from their couch, to stretched across a loveseat, to flung over an oblong television. Pillows were non strategically placed everywhere. This was perfect for a sleepover. If only it weren't still morning. 

For a moment, you felt a strong nostalgia of your childhood. Memories of family, of past friends… 

And then Undyne hit you with a pillow. 

“Yo!” you hissed, and playfully tossed the throw pillow right back at her.

Back to the present. 

“Hey, I just put the movie in-” Alphys turned away from the television just in time to see Undyne shoving the pillow back at you, as if it were a bomb about to explode. 

“Um?” She cleared her throat. 

Both of you pointed accusingly at the other, like it was some comedy show. She looked pointedly at you two. 

“Sorry.” You groaned out. 

“Yeah, sorry babe.” 

Undyne happily sat down next to her girlfriend, cross-legged on the couch. Alphys leaned back into her embrace. They were adorable. You claimed the loveseat. 

“Ready?” Alphys looked excitedly at you. 

“Let’s do this.” You sounded determined when you said that, but… you weren’t feeling it once the movie started. 

The first Mew Mew Kissy Cutie movie was put on. And it was _awful_. 

You internally groaned. The intro was, to put it lightly, not suited to your tastes. Such a disappointment. Apparently they made an entire television series out of this! You were reeling. You couldn’t see how Alphys liked this knock-off _Tokyo Mew Mew_. 

Thus, you found your neighbors’ cuddling more entertaining. 

In front of you was a candid moment. Alphys was rambling about the movie’s plot line under her breath. It was simply endearing. Undyne thought so too; she was gazing fondly down at the yellow dinosaur in her arms. 

You wanted that. 

You sighed. When was the last time you were in a lasting relationship? 

You couldn’t remember. 

“What’s wrong?” Alphys quickly glanced to you, concerned. Undyne looked over without moving to face you. 

Looking away, “It’s been a while since I was in a relationship.” You turned back to them. “You guys are cute.” you gave a small smile. 

“Aw, babe, we’re cute!” 

“U-Undyne!” 

Eventually, the movie ended. You stood up from the loveseat, but stayed inside the fort. You watched Alphys take a large popcorn bowl into the kitchen. Since when had she gotten that? Undyne was taking out the disc from the slot and putting it back into a plastic case. Claw marks were scattered all along the edges. 

The fish woman spoke as Alphys returned to the room, her arms folded in an intimidating posture. 

“What you said earlier.” You turned to look at them. 

“We could h-help you.” 

 _Excusez moi._ You knew where this was going. 

“You’re gonna help me…” you hesitated, “find someone.” 

“Yeah, punk!”

“It’s the l-least we can do!” 

“I don’t know,” your face contorted, you tried to let them down politely, “it’s okay, I’m fine-” 

“C’mon, please? It’ll be fun!” They crowded you inside the fort. No possible escape. 

“It’ll be so romantic! Imagine if _we_ helped you find love!” Alphys was hiding a wide anticipating smile behind her hands. 

The idea still smelled fishy to you, but...

“Well,” your resolve fading at their words, “I guess it could be fun…” 

They weren’t in front of you anymore. 

Alphys was suddenly in front of a large whiteboard that you hadn’t seen as you walked in. She was swaying side to side like she couldn’t stand still. Meanwhile Undyne was taping pictures of various options to the board’s vast surface. Most of these people you had seen before, in photographs around the apartment. 

“Uh, guys…” 

They were clearly too enthusiastic about this to notice you. Undyne was grinning sadistically, and showing all her teeth. She was watching Alphys, who was writing frantically on the board and sporting an equally alarming grin. The dinosaur had written down the different qualities of each person (to the best of her ability) and drawn arrows that didn’t lead to anywhere. 

“Guys!” 

They finally turned around. Cue a dramatic pause. 

“What is this?” 

Alphys giggled, her hand to her mouth. Undyne wasn’t trying to hide her determined laughter. 

“We’ve been,” Undyne started, Alphys finished, “waiting for this day.” 

You had many questions. 

“We’re gonna set you up on dates with all our friends! M-maybe you’ll even fall in love!”

Undyne’s eyes flashed. “And you’ll have _us_ to thank for your _eventual marriage!”_

“So you’re playing matchmaker now?” you decided to play along. 

“Matchmaker?” Alphys, ever the curious one, asked. 

“Playing matchmaker is… bringing people together. But you set it up for them.” You summed it up, “Essentially, the same thing that you’re doing right now.” 

“T-Then yes! We are!” Alphys agreed. 

Undyne shoved the whiteboard to you, its wheels making a squeaking noise in protest. 

“Here they are! Pick your favorite!” 

There were many options presented. You had to squint to read the description of each one. 

Papyrus’s profile was fairly interesting. From what you knew of the skeleton, he was. There were several photographs of him and Undyne, two photos of him posing like a superhero on a mountain, and one clearly edited picture of him with biceps. 

Written was:

-can make spaghetti

-the great papyrus 

-nyeh heh heh (you had to laugh) 

-the fun skeleton (Undyne wrote that one) 

There were more choices. Another skeleton; a small child who clearly wasn’t old enough to date; a square robot with fabulous legs sticking out of its bottom; an odd-looking orange cat, along with a few other monsters. 

You decided to go with who you already knew. Papyrus was such a sweetheart. 

“I knew there was a reason I liked you!” Undyne produced a phone from seemingly nowhere to call him. 

“Hey nerd! We’re helping _ _ _ with their dating life! Wanna help?” 

You heard a shout from the other end. “THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO HELP A FRIEND IN NEED! I SHALL FIND MY DATING MANUAL!” 

“YEAH!” Undyne yelled back. “MEET US AT MUFFET’S TOMORROW!” 

“We’ll t-text you the details!” Alphys added. 

Innocent, naive Papyrus. He didn’t know what he was getting himself into. 

A date planned by Alphys and Undyne? Everything about this screamed caution. Your lips stretched thin. 

Alphys seemed anxious, noticing your expression. You quickly eased her worries, waving your arm. 

“Sorry, I’m just nervous.” You half-lied. 

“Anyway,” you changed the subject, dusting off your pants. “What’s Muffet’s?” 

You watched the monsters in front of you slowly turn their heads to look at one another. They turned back to you, shocked.

“Are you telling me that you’ve  _ never been to Muffet’s before?!”  _ Undyne looked you square in the eye, your nose nearly touching her face.  _ “How?!” _

“Well, uh…” You didn’t know what the big deal was.

Alphys looked up at you. “We need to take them.”

Take you where?

“Muffet’s!” Undyne exclaimed, laughing. You didn’t realize you had voiced your thoughts aloud.

“Oh my god!” She clapped you on the shoulder, forcing it down. You lost your balance, and was sent tumbling to the floor.

Alphys, however, looked exasperated. She offered her arm to help you get up, and you heard her mumbling something under her breath, solemnly glaring at you. “I cannot believe.” was all you caught.

It was like she was berating you for not having gone before. Chill, please. Monsters haven’t been on the surface very long. Undyne smirked at you. 

“You’re gonna see what we mean tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you spot the two (2) puns
> 
> I wanted a sleepover but that can't happen in the morning so idk its a hang out


End file.
